Pretty Teriyaki Chicken Bowls

Pretty Teriyaki Chicken Bowls
Written June 2007


As she sits across from her best friend she looks at him and says: “What’s the difference between cute and pretty?” He looks up at her and says, “See this morsel of rice? That’s cute. Now look at this bowl with rice and teriyaki chicken and that’s pretty.” She walks away not quite sure what this means but accepts it as truth. The only question that remains is, “If rice is cute and teriyaki bowls are pretty then what is beautiful?” Her thoughts wander as they usually do and in her mind she thinks, “Does adding vegetables make it beautiful or is the preparation and presentation of this entire teriyaki bowl what will make it beautiful.”

The question lives inside her for many years. She wonders what he truly meant to say and discovers that it isn’t his response that dumbfounded her but the situation that raised the question.

Two weeks before the teriyaki chicken bowl incident she is sitting at her boyfriends house. She looks at him and asks, “Why do you love me?” He responds, “Because of all that you are and all that you are going to become.” As he walks away he turns around and says, “Oh, and sometimes I think you’re cute and sometimes I think you’re pretty.” The first response brings a smile to her face and the second makes her laugh. She then continues typing away at her computer trying to write something that doesn’t quite flow through her as things normally do.

For most of this woman’s life her physical attributes have been compared to another person. Her identity has never been just her own. Bonita is a word she is quite used to hearing but it is always followed by bonita como (pretty like) so and so. She chooses to ignore the adjective and to be the personality that resides within. To her pretty and cute are not words she identifies with. She prefers smart and funny. Those words don’t arrive.

The boyfriend and best friend are no longer in her life. She still eats teriyaki chicken bowls but has never looked at them quite the same.

~Risa del Mar